The Taste of Loneliness
by Cantarella Potion
Summary: Saeki find himself with out his fiancee for a few days and realizes something very important about her.


The feeling of being alone is one of the saddest feelings known to humanity. No other word has the depth that loneliness has. The dizzying feeling of being in complete solitude. The hollow craving for another but being denied that need.

These thoughts eclipsed Saeki's mind. His love was leaving him. His ray of light that warmed his word, gone like the sun in a hurricane. Though it was only going to be for a few days and she was still there, the apartment already felt large and empty. Would he be able to get along without her? In the past months he had grown so accustom to her presence that he wasn't sure he would be able to properly function without her. He knew this was a good step forward for her career and he supported her full heartedly, and yet he was still filled with dread. His fiancee made her way around the house, gathering everything she would need for her trip, muttering to herself about things that she needed to do. She didn't glance at him once.

"I don't want you to go." Her soft footsteps paused when his low, jealous voice pierced the silence of the room. He felt her eyes on him but refused to meet them and continued to look forward with no expression. If he looked at her now, he might break and do something he would regret.

"It's just three days." Was that confusion in her voice? Despite his best attempt not to, he looked at her. Her head was tilted to the side and eyebrows knitted. Her brown hair fell to the side and warm eyes melted him so sweetly from within.

"But what if you meet another man?"

"Saeki-"

"You could elope with him to Papua New Guinea and have three kids and I would never see you again." He looked at her desperately.

"Why Papua New Guinea?" Of all the questions... He remained silent and returned to his staring contest with the TV's black screen. She sat down next to him on the couch. "None of that will happen in the next 72 hours. I'm going on a business trip and I'm going to be working the whole time I'm there. I can't elope with a man if I'm filling out paperwork."

That was so like her, to fight emotions with logic rather then say what needed to be said. And even if her face told him everything she thought, not enough of it passed her lips.

She ruffled his hair and stood up. Saeki grabbed her wrist before she could take a step more. He pulled her to him and kissed her.

"Wha-" That was all he allowed her to say. She would be leaving in the morning. He would keep her busy until then. Together they drowned in a passionate kiss that was knee weakening. Again and again their lips sought each other and their tongues caressed each other. Minutes melted into hours as the clothes that separated them fell to the ground.

Only when the sun rose did she leave the bed. After a quick shower, she returned to find Saeki looking up at her with loneliness in his eyes that he couldn't hide. He curled up under the blankets and let out a yawn so big that it left tears in his eyes. When he was like this, he really did look like the spoiled child that he sometimes acted like. Always twisting his words to say one thing but mean anther. It could be so annoying at time but he was slowly getting better at speaking his feelings.

Last night, when Saeki had gone on about her getting eloped, she saw in his face what he was really trying to say. _I'll be lonely with you gone. _She brushed the back of her hand across his cheek. He leaned into her touch. Such a simple gesture could mean so much.

"Coffee?" She asked. He nodded, still half-asleep and groped blindly for his socks. she let out a small giggle and handed them to him. He really was like a small child.

Saeki sat in his office in front of his computer, fingers resting on the keys but not typing. It had been 3 hours since he dropped her off at the airport. He already felt so lonely. When had she become such an important person to him? Something he needed alongside food and water. The answer came to him as soon as he asked himself that. It was the second she entered his life as a friend rather than a lover. Countless women had come and gone in his life, more than there are stars in the sky, but she remained because he relied on her for more then his lustful needs. She was his best friend, his muse. She brought him inspiration, cared for him, and understood him better then he did. Such a woman held his heart in her hands and made him understand love and feelings better then ever before, helping him write things he never could have without her.

But she wasn't with him. And with her, she took his words.

He sighed and grabbed his coat. There was no point in attempting to write if words refused to come to him. Maybe the guys would be at Long Island.

As he walked along the streets crowded with faceless people, he tried to empty his mind of everything. but how could it be emptied if she filled his mind and pushed every other thought away. Her vanilla-honey shampoo teases him with a memory, he craved the sweet taste of her kisses, the ever so gentle brush of her fingers on his bare back seemed to haunt like a ghost. Every woman with the the same hair color as her taunted him into believing that it was actually her. For one glorious moment he believed it would be her, turning to face him with her bell-like giggle.

Another sigh escaped him.

"So, she left this morning?" Takao asked. the gang had gathered at Long Island and had their usual drinks.

"Yes." Saeki laid his head on the bar, not touching the glass of wine in front of him. "At 9:18. She boarded at 11:32."

"I never thought Saeki would fall for someone so hard." Yamato glanced at his stricken friend.

"Really?" Yuta exclaimed. "I though it was inevitable."

Kuni nodded in agreement. "That sort of a thing happens all the time in movies. He is a script writer. He lives and breathes this stuff."

"Hey, What's that suppose to mean?" Saeki sighed. "I feel like half of me has been ripped away, leaving a jagged edge."

"Well, you know what they say." Kuni put his hand on his shoulder.

The hours crawled by slowly. Saeki could have sworn that it stopped several times but none the less, the big day finally came. But why did the minutes pass even slower then the days did? Every tick and tock of the clock drove a tack in the writer's body. He itched to run and pace and bite his nails but he forced himself to sit still and wait. He was growing madder by the second.

He surfed through the TV channels before turning it off and flipping through a book, only to close that too.

"I'm home!" Her tired voice called out. A yawn pierced the air and the front door shut with a click. Saeki jumped from the couch and ran toward the sounds.

And then he saw her.

Her hair was tousled and dark shadow hung under her eyes. Her close were wrinkled and she wasn't wearing any make up.

Saeki had never been more glad to see her.

"Ah," She noticed him as she stood up from putting her bad down. "Honey, do you think you could- WAH!" he pulled her into a tight embrace and spun her around the entry way.

He pulled away from her long enough to steal a dizzyingly passionate kiss from her.

"S-Saeki?" She parted from him, her cheeks an innocent shade of pink. Saeki smiled at her gently and pulled her closer.

"You have no idea how much I've come to rely on you..." Saeki purred. "Or shall I show you?" He scooped her up in his arms and giggled as she sputtered incoherently all the way to the bedroom.

_She may never really know how much he missed her._


End file.
